I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
