Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
