I think I am morally bankrupt
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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