I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
