Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
