I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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