Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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