Heybabeimwearingurpanties
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
