Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
