we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
