Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
