just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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