We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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