ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
so explain again why im purple
no
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
