YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
