It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
