I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize