i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
