remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
