I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize