he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
She is in my trunk
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You are a genius and a whore.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
