People with herpes should wear stickers.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I think a kid would responsible me up
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize