You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
