office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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