babies were throwing up all over the place
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
