It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
