Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
