Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
a search helicopter?!
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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