Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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