the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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