You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
