Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
