just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
