8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
