margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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