Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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