I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
