From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
