Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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