I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
