your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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