apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
