I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
