Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
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