woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
