Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
