3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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