If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
