he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
