you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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