there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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