Moan for me like Helen Keller
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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