well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
