I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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