There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I'm so fucking centered right now
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
