We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
