so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
