just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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